Thursday, September 29, 2005

hej igen! hi again...

kanner nastan for att skriva lite pa svenska nu efter att ha just varit dar, men da forstar inte manga vad jag skriver...

i'm back from sweden. while i was there the leaves started turning from green to yellow. the weather was perfect. clear blue skies and sun, though not hot.

so many things i love and miss about sweden. the first things are, flying in, the green and lack of ugly grey buildings everywhere. stepping into the airport, the air. it's amazing how different the air is. and the light. the air and the light are two elements that are strangely significant for me. those and the language. i feel at home in this air, light and language. i wish this other home were not so far away and didn't require a planeride to get there...

i've always struggled between choosing to live here or in sweden. over the years i've just become more entrenched in the U.S. and i can't write well in swedish, which frustrates me. and the lack of queer visibility is also stifling in sweden. but here, i feel so cut off from sweden. there aren't a lot of swedes around to talk to. i don't know any here. i love that i can read swedish blogs (like camilla's, karin's, tuula's, hanna's, jenny's, and sara's) and see bits of sweden/swedish culture/swedish people through the computer.

some other things i love about sweden:
*the moss on the stones (which i think happens farther north here too, like in washington)
*the general sensibility of the people
*lack of an overwhelming amount of massproduced products (although that is changing each year that passes)
*the small size of the country - makes government and everyday life seem so much more manageable. more possibility to effect change, keep track of news, more possibility of connection...
*swedish design

mom and mormor

and of course my mormor is a huge connection for me to sweden. she is the reason i've gone the past four years to visit. she is not doing so well now. it was very hard during this visit to see her suffer. she has become very quiet and tired. i spent many hours each day sitting with her in her quiet. but even so, she still managed to tell me the things that matter.

(more pics to come... may have a fika series and a self portrait series and an entry about my aunt's artwork among other things.)

(soundtrack to the visit was death cab for cutie's transatlanticism. so good!)

looking forward to checking out all your blogs that i've missed while away...


Anya said...

Welcome home! Your mormor looks beautiful... Looking forward to reading and seeing more from your visit. ((hugs))

Camilla Engman said...

Välkommen tillbaka, fast längre bort rent fysiskt. Synd att Sverige är så avlångt, annars hade Stockholm och Göteborg varit närmare varandra. Jag som hade kollat in Göteborgs Queerställen för att visa att även Göteborg kan ;)

tania said...

it sounds just wonderful.
i have always wanted to visit, i just know I would absolutley love it there.
hard to love two homes!

maria said...

YEAH! you're back!! i'm so glad. we missed you and i love your post on Sweden. i want to go there so badly... your mormor is adorable! luck you.

looking forward to hearing more!
welcome home, mav

Tuula said...

Välkommen tillbaka till blogg(l)andet!
Det är intressant att läsa om när du jämför Sverige med USA.
Söta tanter, din mamma och mormor.

poppy said...

welcome back! so good to hear what you like about your mother country (and my grandparents). i know that even though i wasn't born there, there is this longing for me to be there. nice to hear about your visit and i bet it was so nice to spend time with your mormor.

Stephanie said...

Yes the air is different in Sweden and the light, and the scent... I love the air and the light in Sweden too. The laundry hangs to dry, there are bike racks for the bike riders everywhere, and there are pretty curtains in the windows.
I can't wait to go back.
For fika. Oh, yes, the fika. It's hard to explain to American's about the fika. Ser fram emot dina fika bilder :)

Jag förstår det där med att önska att det inte var så långt mellan våra Sverige och USA...