lace and leaves

spent some time on the other side of town today. (the more shee shee {sp?} side.) found a few cheap cheap cute clothes at goodwill. and then window-shopped a bit. the above pretty dress i spied at flicka, a swedish store. stores over on fillmore are out of my unemployed price range. (actually they were out of my employed price range as well.)

friday i'm going to try kickboxing with mati (a seasoned kickboxer ;-)) and then in the evening i'm going to her art opening. exciting! check it out if you're in sf.

i had been thinking i want to try some kickboxing or martial art or self defense. something to get in touch with my anger. (i know it's in there.) and to move my body in new ways. not to get too new-agey, but that mind-body connection needs some activation. i think i'm heading for some biggish changes and i'm hoping some yelling and/or tae kwon do action will give me some (much needed) confidence.

i see how kids with siblings (and especially boys or tomboys) test their physical limits so much more than i ever did as an only child. they tumble and tug and hurl themselves about and at each other, ride skateboards and break their bones and get up again and again. my friend heather and i could most often be found playing dolls or stuffed animals or swimming in her pool. sounds placid, but our play certainly had its edge and wildness to it too. i remember one day her sister nichole and heather and i got ahold of some of those fat, squishy nerf bats. we ran madly around their laundry room, which was an island in their house (open on all sides), endlessly chasing each other and bonking one another on the head with those bats. we were fast, frenzied, violent and laughing hysterically throughout.

i also remember one night during college, my friends mia and oona and i decided to wrestle/tumble on the lawn outside our dorms. of course it was more silly/fun than seriously rough, but even that level of roughness and physicality (heightened by the damp grass and our inability to see well in the dark), was initially so foreign to me.

it's odd how i feel more and more detached these days from my body, spending the majority of most days sitting in front of the computer. i do walk around town a lot (and go dancing occasionally), but i'm definitely not getting enough of that frenzied, freeing, physically (and in turn mentally) challenging energy.

hm, from lace and leaves to kicking and tumbling...