flickry friday

taking a little break. back for behind the picture next friday hopefully, if not before then. (whenever i decide on a break i am inspired to post for some reason.)

this friday just a coupla flickr favorites:

secret - i keep looking at this one.

sleepy sparrow's photos - good colors, moods.

have a good weekend!

behind the picture

i've been foiled about five times now for this behind the picture project. the most recent time i foiled myself (if that's possible), being just before this picture, at breakfast. erica and i went to a local breakfast joint, where i'd planned on taking my behind the picture photo, but when i took out my camera i realized i didn't have my memory card in it. err.

anyhow, here is a photo i just took in the backyard. i don't hang out in the backyard enough. i like it back there.

if you look closely, you can see a basketball going through the net in the yard behind ours, just beyond the fence. a boy and a girl were playing there. they didn't talk much and didn't seem fiercely competitive. occasionally i'd hear them saying something in spanish in a pleasant way of kids just really into what they're doing. mostly it was just the basketball thudding in the background.

and water draining in another yard, perhaps from the washing machine. trees rustling with the cool breeze. one plane flying over. and a constant, though far off hum of traffic. a wind chime chiming.

despite all these sounds, it felt very quiet back there. i sat down on the cold, cold concrete in the sun to write down what was going on behind the picture. my butt was freezing, but the sun felt nice. it reminded me of breezy days in laguna sitting in the driveway outside our house hanging out with the dogs. the air felt really clean. (it's one of those days when one really notices air.) i had a slight headache behind my eyes. a full tummy after eating a chocolate shake, eggs, potatoes and sourdough toast for breakfast. (yes, a shake for breakfast.) still appreciating the relief i am experiencing after this. and appreciating supportive friends, family and blog readers.

please check out the other behind the picture players. links in the comments in this post. grey dandelion feather's is quite poetic. please join us next friday!

on stress and plastic spoons

this past week was really really stressful for me. at the end of the week, i quit my new job (the quitting itself was stressful as well). i noticed that when i am really stressed, i have less patience with my cat and sometimes with people. made me think about people fighting in/suffering from wars. i never understand the atrocities people are capable of during wars. but when i think about the level of stress people in war are under, i begin to see how their brains might change under those circumstances (NOT that stress is an excuse for atrocities/crimes against humanity AT ALL).

i felt how i was headed into depression because of the stress this past week. that tunnel vision was beginning, and i realized i had to get out fast. i was obsessing about things. couldn't let go of thoughts to rest. to sleep. the smallest tasks seemed so difficult. i felt terrible about myself. imagined i was getting all sorts of physical ailments and actually got some physical ailments. i am used to putting responsibility/commitment to a job/task first. but this time i had to put my health first. i am relieved now, though not quite out of the blue. that will take some more laughter with friends, some blogging and creating. homework. some attention to the world outside of my worries.

my all-day letterpress class today helped greatly. the teacher is this old italian san franciscan who seems to have lived an adventurous life. he must be near 80 years old, but he's still full of zest, humor and life. he's the perfect combination of surliness and affection. i'm sure he has his faults, but today all i could see of him made me beam inside. he made me happy. (at one point he reached inside the top of his blue apron/coat to get his glasses out, and they came out with a plastic spoon. he just put the spoon back, no comment, though i think he probably was a bit amused himself.) can a 33 year old lesbian have a crush on an 80 year old man? apparently.

play date postponed

for me anyway. life has rudely interrupted over here, and i won't be playing today.

i will post a behind the picture (see previous entry) entry on sunday. but please leave a comment if you played along today, so i can visit you, and so i can mention you in my sunday post. i know risa played. tomato soup for breakfast!

i'm excited that so many of you want to play along. can't wait to see what's happening behind (or around, during, before, under) your pictures.

wanna play?

things you can't tell from this photo:

it was taken yesterday around 11:15 am. (very late breakfast)
it was about 50 degrees farenheit in the kitchen, before i opened the oven door to let out the biscuit warmth.
i was wearing my clothes and a blanket.
i had to heat up some old, stiff honey to pour on the biscuit.
i think i got sick from this old honey later on.
it was quiet and pinky and i were the only ones home.
pinky leon jumped onto the table and tried to sniff the butter. (if i wasn't there, i'm sure he'd have done more than sniff.)
i moved the organic brown sugar (for the tea) off to the side for the photo because it didn't look pretty.
i have four and a half biscuits left over.
next time i'm making pancakes from the trader joes mix instead of biscuits.

i am just remembering the above, but i think it would be fun to do a project where you take a photo and note everything else going on at that time. a different kind of five senses game. wanna play? maybe friday?

on jobs and peter rabbit

after my first week (last week) of my part-time, after-school tutoring job, i think i might be able to cross elementary school teacher off my list of professions to consider.

i certainly could learn how to be more authoritative and could learn discipline tricks, and i suppose i will learn some of this while (if) i'm doing this job. however, being authoritative goes against my nature to some degree. and there are so many things to think about at once when teaching. it's just a bit too hard for me. i like working with the kids one-on-one, but working with groups of students is proving to be quite difficult. i do like to be challenged, but this goes beyond challenge for me, i think.

besides it being so hard, there are the additional factors against becoming a teacher - the f-ed up (in so many ways) school system (this is a whole other long post), the low pay, the all-consuming aspect of the job. (and it would be even more all-consuming if one were to try and challenge the system from within it, finding alternative, more interesting and more appropriate materials for students for example. and nowadays i guess this might be quite difficult, as schools are so focused on getting the kids to pass/score well on the year-end tests.)

i am not even sure i will be able to stick with this short-term job, unless it gets easier. right now it is causing me a lot of anxiety and taking up (mentally) much more of my day than the 3.5 hours i'm actually at the school. (i can barely even think about blogging or taking photos!) and of course i'm taking it all too seriously. it's hard for me to relax/be at ease when i don't feel i have enough control of a situation. and the more stressed out i get, the less in control of the situation i become. a vicious circle. oy.

it makes me think about this post that andrea wrote a while back about the path of least resistance. teaching is certainly not the path of least resistance for me.

but i'm going to stick it out a bit longer to see how it goes. i remembered that i have a tendency to feel overwhelmed and/or depressed when i start something new and the something isn't as i expected it to be. (i got depressed when i started graphic design classes too, and they turned out pretty good in the end...)

in other news, i watched miss potter saturday and loved it. what a wonderful woman that beatrix was. inspiring, sad, happy and beautiful movie. (i'm bringing one potter book from the library to tutoring tuesday because i know this one little girl in my tutoring group likes rabbits, and maybe peter rabbit will be just the thing...)

two more kitties + flickr favorites

two more purple kitties for gigi to choose from.

i am very excited to find amanda j's photos this week. they are so rich, in color, mood, story, beauty....can't get enough of them.

another excellent find this week: martin pavely (i like the sound of that name)
this one
this one and
this one

and finally three lovely cup/teapot portraits by:
lisa s
windowsill and
nikopen

so much beauty!

oh gosh, i must also point out:
this kitty
and this one

anne's wintergarden
and iris.'s self portrait
and girl from mars pony

enough!

virtual tea party - tea party remembered

the virtual tea party brought back memories of the above tea party (which is looking very pixellated now).

for the first version of my mecozy website, friends of mine were kind enough to dress up and pose for the homepage. the homepage used to be a granny tea party that, when you scrolled over the photo, became a hipster tea party. the message: mecozy tea cozies are the tea cozies to use at the modern day tea party.

now these photos are back to haunt my friends. they will live to regret the day they donned handkerchiefs to cover their product-styled hair in the name of shash's little tea cozy website.

more pics from our photoshoot here:

i'm enjoying seeing all of the wonderful tea ware at this virtual international party. i particularly like this mismatched teapot.

cheers!

walking watercolor

puple kitty for gigi

a friend asked for a purple kitty for her daughter. at first i said, i'm not really making softies these days. but within about ten minutes, i had four purple kitties underway. (she has to have some to choose from!) anyhow, above are a couple of them.

friday flickrs

another (this time winter) display from this window in SF

not sure what happened to this first week of 07.

but here are some flickr favorites anyway:
this photo made me burst into tears. so so lovely.
i keep coming back to this photo. the light, the quiet. fragility.
a cozy + colorful place
this one

and i'm sure you've all seen the wonderful collaborative new mornings photoblog, but just in case you missed it, check out 3191.

for 2007

things to consider doing
(besides feel like the above as much as possible)

go to city arts and lectures
go to opera/ballet/other performances
go to storytelling night
take a dance class
check out ashkenaz in berkeley
enviro-consumer blog
look into "spiritual" activities/groups in SF
visit glide memorial (for the singing)
figure out how to sew clothes (a skirt at least!)
make another bed quilt
draw/paint/journal more
creative writing class?
take card portfolio around to some stores
research what it takes to open/run a store
volunteer again helping homebound elderly
consume responsibly
get involved in some kind of peace work (even just letterwriting)
start listening to NPR again (put radio in kitchen)
try to watch NOW on tv
do more silkscreening at mission cultural center or cellspace
visit alcatraz, coit tower (and design bookstore nearby) and walk across the GG Bridge (can't believe i've lived in SF 9 years and have not done any of these)
find swedes to talk with
get rid of stuff
take more hikes
visit cor in grass valley
make food dishes + desserts (have dinner parties)
check out osento
swim, take yoga
get health insurance
do more and worry less (always on my list)
fall in love

happy new year friends!