Tuesday, July 19, 2005

self portrait tuesday: talk about embarrassing

in my sophomore year of high school, Jimmy Hall asked me to my first high school dance. Jimmy was the most polite boy in school (so polite that my friends and i thought he might be English). his cheeks were a permanent blush (whereas mine just unexpectedly blush like mad and then go back to being THIS pale). looking at this picture, all the awkwardness of high school comes back to me.

my mom went dress shopping with me for this peachy keen number, and our knowledge of what dress to get for a school dance probably came from television and movies. when i arrived at the dance, which i think was on a boat, all the girls had on little swishy cocktail dresses. my dress went to the floor, and well, you can see what it looks like. needless to say, i was overdressed and frou frou-y. i don't remember doing any dancing, but we must have. all i remember besides arriving and seeing all the short dresses, is jimmy opening the car door for me (i think that was probably the first official boy opening a door event and it felt very weird. it hasn't stopped feeling weird.)

what is funny to me now when i see this picture, is how normal i look (i mean besides the dress and lacey shawl! and besides looking a bit like a deer in headlights). i guess considering how hard i tried to hide any abnormality (read queerness and shyness and flat chestedness), it's not so strange.
how much pictures tell/don't tell.

ps. note the chic brown and orange marimekko curtains.
pps. other self portrait tuesday folks


maria said...

i saw the wall and curtains right away!! they are fab. this picture makes me feel so nervous. it evokes a real emotional response in me. i remember just feeling SO sick at all of this middle school and even early high school shit. i love what you have written about it ... thank you so much for sharing it all! mav

Anya said...

Awww.... my dear friend... you look adorably though yes a bit dear-in-headlights. ; ) And Jimmy Hall... what a sweetheart he was and is. A good man. I have some very ridiculous photos of myself from that time. But looking back, I have a very strong love-hate feeling about high school. Mostly, I'm happy for the friends I had and kept.

♥ joleen ♥ said...

I love this photograph. So many people go through that!! I love the story- so insightful. Thanks for sharing! I wonder what became of Sir Jimmy. :)

mati rose said...

that's a great story... we should have a website devoted to awkward prom pics:)

Jenn said...

that is a great story, and photo. it brings back memories. I had a strapless dress at my jr. prom and nothing to hold it up with so lets just say there was a lot of tugging going on to keep myself covered. I think a site with growing-up photos would be a lot of fun!

poppy said...

i think this is a great photo and not embarrasing at all. if you think back on the styles of the times -

it's such a drag though what we all had to go through though during those awkward years. if only we knew then what we know now.

thanks for sharing - great post!

robin said...

i had been dropping hints to 'special boy' for months before he asked me to the 8th grade semi-formal. two weeks before the event i had a uterine hemmhorage IN SCHOOL! i bled EVERYWHERE (which was mistaken for my period). that weekend i got a call at home that my date preferred to go stag.

ugh. what a time of uncertainty!

you were beautiful, by the way. your skin and your eyes!

shash said...

i think a lot of people have these awkward stories from hs dances. that is a great idea mati, to have a site with uncomfortable dance pics and stories! thanks for your comments!

joy madison said...

Hello, Self Portrait Tuesday-er. I'm posting to everyones blogs because I've started a Self Portrait Tuesday Pool on Flickr. Please join it so we can see everyone's in one place!